I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
