Me. At least after what I've been through.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
