wakey wakey hands off snakey
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize