i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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