sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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