Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
