Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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