She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
