Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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