No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
