are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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