the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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