Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
