its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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