i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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