they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
