we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
