so explain again why im purple
no
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
