No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
