and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
