Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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