First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
