Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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