But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
