im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize