Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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