We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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