That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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