she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
