Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
