The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize