its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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