i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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