she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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