did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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