You can't special order awesome
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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