stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
