you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ttyl tear gas
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He better not be in your backpack
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
