I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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