in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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