Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
