I want to walk on stilts...naked
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
