Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
