I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
