I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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