so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
