Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
