fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
