And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
