if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
