fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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