Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
