What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize