It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
