I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie