I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was