you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP