I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....