i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.