We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
