WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
