No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
