I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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