How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
BRING THE BAGELS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
