I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
