hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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