Cold hands, warm shart.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
