wakey wakey hands off snakey
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
