I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
