Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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  (270): Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile (270): But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird. http://tfl.nu/vi1s
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (1016)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.

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  (302): because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride. http://tfl.nu/wwvv
  Replies (10) Good night (1180) Bad night (3829)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.

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  (802): It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside. http://tfl.nu/56u9
  Replies (21) Good night (4236) Bad night (1351)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2145) Bad night (634)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."

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  (256): He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment." http://tfl.nu/ioax
  Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (638)
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  (650): View more from California

  My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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  (650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo
  Replies (14) Good night (2262) Bad night (857)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (1149)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.

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  (651): I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/6otb
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (556)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after

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  (403): His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after http://tfl.nu/sq85
  Replies (5) Good night (316) Bad night (774)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (367)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE

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  (860): I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE http://tfl.nu/oj52
  Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (338)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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  (716): I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jnx6
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (240)
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  (714): View more from California

  I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)

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  (714): I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :) http://tfl.nu/j4k1
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (256)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooooo, no second date?

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  (860): He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store. (508): Sooooo, no second date? http://tfl.nu/ghyh
  Replies (5) Good night (328) Bad night (737)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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  (775): She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard http://tfl.nu/1o8s
  Replies (5) Good night (349) Bad night (901)

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