he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
