so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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