She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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