We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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